Lightbulbs

I didn’t plan to write a sweeping blog on Life Lessons I Picked Up in Uganda but certain questions have been on my mind as I finish up here: How has this past year affected me? In what ways has it changed me? What will I take away from this experience? And simply, was it worth it?

One thing that was reinforced right from the beginning was that I was going to need to keep as open a mind as I could; knowing that my initial goals may not match what the community had in mind. The goals I set would be changed and that I would need to compromise based on what the community wanted and where their understanding was of their own situation. One such goal I had was establishing a consistent, weekly girl’s football program. When things began last year, this proved to be a bit more difficult than I anticipated. In Uganda, girls typically are the ones with the most chores around the house; cooking, cleaning and even acting as the ‘caretaker’ for their younger siblings. Many girls were not allowed to attend our after school activities and Saturday attendance at football trainings was slow going in the beginning. However, as we got to know these girls we saw their desire. We learned about their duties at home and tried to work together to find a good solution that would both allow them to attend our programs and to fulfill their responsibilities at home. We got to visit some of the girls and their families/guardians. And fortunately in doing this, we got quite a good boost to our girls program, doubling the number from where we started! We see many of the girls every week and I can leave knowing there is indeed a girls football team for SWB Ndejje. However, I do wish I got to spend more time with some of the girls and really talk with them about their life and the issues they face. They are an incredible group of young women and carry an enormous load. I’m excited to see where their futures take them; I know they all have the potential to do some incredible things and it’s evident most of them just need a little support…

As with creating a consistent girls program, another goal we had was to establish an after-school program for the community. This has been, and still is, our most difficult goal to achieve. Initially we met so many challenges because the idea of an “after-school” program was so foreign to the community. Parents can see the benefit in math, science and literature but it’s a lot harder to get them to see the benefit in physical activity, art and especially puzzles. To parents who struggle to gather school fees, the idea of an after school program seemed like just a time for games and frivolous activities; time the children could better spend doing something more productive. Although we saw value in our ideas, I learned quickly that our idea of ‘change’ wouldn’t be supported unless we got this community behind us. Just because a community looks in need to an outsider, doesn’t mean they’ll welcome any idea with open arms…

I do have to say that Adam, Courtney and I made encouraging strides towards our goal of an after school program. We reached out to other schools to show them our intentions and fortunately have retained quite a bit of those kids. Starting 2^nd term last week, we had established (what we hope is!) an agreeable schedule going forward. Unfortunately, most of these achievements came largely on our own. The few people we thought were on “our side” in this community or otherwise weren’t there to support or work with us when it came down to it. It showed us that although someone may appear to be working with you, s/he may be acting as so with ulterior motives, or even just to appease another. It was interesting to focus on people’s intentions and to discover the interpretation of their own (often perceived) authority. Though we recognized early on the need to compromise and meet the community where they were and take into account their goals, it became more evident that as the “outsiders” we were doing all the compromising and as a program, we were in trouble. Some things, though, aren’t worth fighting for so long as value isn’t lost or the ones intended to benefit aren’t left vulnerable. Yet, it can be all to easy to confuse compromise with being an easy target, outsider or not. In this type of work where a locally sustained program is the goal, it is essential to find ways to work together, not just stringing a continuous line of one-sided compromises together.

To that point, another tough lesson to swallow was learning how easy it is to be taken advantage of. The “give a mouse a cookie” saying comes to mind. Often times, it was difficult to do a small favor or nice gesture for someone because they’d expect something more, something bigger. Part of me feels a bit guilty for pointing that out considering the circumstances in which most of the people we encountered live, but I learned just wanting to “do good” won’t always matter, nor will simply putting money at the situation. If your heart isn’t in the work, people will be able to tell. No one wants to be felt sorry for or be made to feel helpless. Possibly that’s one reason why some continually hold out a cupped hand – if someone is made to feel less than they really are, would it be difficult to feel bad about taking advantage of another? As a worker, if your heart isn’t in this for the right reasons, it would be hard to teach others how to become sufficient and how to actually begin to make money him/herself rather than relying on someone else. You'll end up reaching into your own pocket, everytime.

On a personal level, I learned how really to be flexible and adapt to a new situation. I’ve always felt I am pretty open in this regard but coming to Uganda tested that in me, oh boy did it ever. In the beginning, there were times when I wanted to come home. Deep down I knew that wasn’t an option but still tried to convince myself otherwise. I learned that negativity spreads all too fast and can be hard to block out but it can be conquered just as easily with a dose of positive energy (Enter my amazing support system back home!!!). Looking for positives everyday and trying to make a new place feel like a home made adjusting go more smoothly. I really do feel like I’ve settled in here. I remember asking the question to myself last August if Ndejje would ever seem like home – maybe in retrospect it’s easier to say now, but I do feel at home. I know how to get along and feel comfortable. I have my favorite places to go and friends to see.

This year has opened my eyes to a whole other side of the work I want to do. It’s shown me the ground level. I’ve gotten to see how the kind of work I do in the US translates to a small village in Africa. I learned working with kids in vulnerable situations or with complicated backgrounds is what I’m meant to do. It’s where I where I most enjoy the work and where I find myself most effective. Though I’m not quite cut out to be a teacher or in a classroom setting (it’s a lot more stressful than I imagined!), I want to work with kids on their level. I want to build genuine relationships with them and get to know their families and their stories. I want to be able to help them fight for a better life because I know it’s possible for anyone, no matter what.

Though Uganda has claimed two cameras, an iPod, 5 pairs of sandals (4 left ones…see a pattern?!), a pair of running shoes and [some days] my sanity, I’ve learned more about myself, the world and what I want from it than I ever imagined. I’m proud of the work we did over the past 10 months and feel more confident in the path I’ve chosen to pursue. Material possessions are replaceable. The memories I made here and the relationships I built will grow forever. I look forward to coming back here one day.

Without a doubt I can say this year was worth it. As hectic and scary and exciting and intimidating as this year was, I feel confident in saying every interaction we had, challenge we faced and lightbulb that went off made this year worth it.