Sometimes you meet someone and it feels like you’ve known that person forever, or maybe it feels like you were meant to become friends. You may meet someone and instantly know there’s something special about them. You know you’ve met a life-long friend, whatever it is. I’ve had the incredible fortune to have gotten this chance with not just one person, but a whole family. And not only are they each unique and beautiful in their own way, this incredible group of people has helped me get through one heck of a year.
It started when I met 12-year old Julien last August...
I knew he was a special kid. Actually, he didn’t so much seem like a kid; more like a friend. A really short friend. His mind is active and he’s always asking questions, searching for new knowledge. An excellent student; he’s even the “Head Boy” at school. He loves to dance and looks to The King for new moves (they even share the “MJ” initials…coincidence, I think not…). Julien is one of the most kind and thoughtful people with whom I’ve worked this year, and not just among the kids either. Although he’s friends with everyone at school, he’d prefer his close group of boys to a big rambunctious crowd. With his kind heart and polite manners, it’s hard sometimes to remember he is just a 12-year old from the Congo…
A week into school last year, I started to see some familiar faces around the school yard or Youth Center. They had the same bright eyes as Julien, same beautiful smiles and sweet, infectious laughs. Because family members don’t have the same last names here, I wasn’t sure who was related to whom. But there sure were a lot of them; 6 to be exact (I was still new to Africa at that point and couldn’t quite imagine a family with 7 kids…)! Was I dreaming? And why were all these kids so stunning?! So the story goes, they were all siblings, plus there were 3 older sisters away at boarding school! With Mama and Papa, that makes 12: welcome my adoptive African family.
Thirteen-year old Julie has a ‘tude rarely seen in girls her age, or more to the point – an African woman! The most suiting word I can come up with for Julie is “fierce”. She is one of the better footballers on our girls team and she doesn’t back down to the boys. She’ll even ask to join their practice – my kinda girl! Playing to her more girly side, she knows all the songs to “High School Musical” even if she blushes when you ask her. She’s a good older sister and is always looking out for her younger siblings. In typical African woman fashion, she is an excellent cook and has even been able to teach yours truly a thing or two…! But “housewife” doesn’t seem to be in her future plans; she wants to be a bank manager and will “maybe” have some kids!
Neza, 10, is right in the middle of this happy clan. She’s definitely the most reserved of her family. Whenever I catch her eye in the classroom or at the Center, she’ll giggle and turn away – never fails! She’s at the head of her group of girlfriends that seem to quietly run their 5th grade class. Maybe she’s just the mysterious mastermind of the group! Though not destined for the African mafia (is there such a thing?!), Neza has dreams of becoming a nurse and I think with her quiet smile, warm eyes and incredible patience, she would make a great one.
Yvonne & Yvette are one of two sets of twins in this family and these 7-year old girls couldn’t be more different from each other. Yvonne is bubbly, smiley and endless active. Her mother calls her “stubborn” because she’s usually running around outside getting into who-knows-what. I call her “curious”. Yvonne will always run up and give me a hug when I see her, her smile covering half her face. It’s amazing and makes everyday brighter. She is following in her sister Julie’s footsteps with football; when we went to town to buy shoes, she was insistent on cleats – though at that point I’d never seen her at one training! Even so, I have trouble saying no to these kids (surprise?!) and we walked away with the cleats. Well, 7 months later, she’s been running around at every practice since our shopping trip, getting right in there with the boys and fighting for the ball. Whenever she falls down, she’ll always look over at me with that huge smile just so I know she’s ok.
Yvette, although out on the pitch scrambling for the ball right along with her sister, has a much more mysterious sense about her. It often seems like she’s up to something Top Secret that no one can know ANYthing about. She isn’t afraid to do anything and without saying much, she will take on whatever is given to her. I admire that about her. I’ll never forget on my birthday she came over, ran to me in her party dress with a big smile on – that was the best birthday present I could have got! I guess unlike her sister, she saves her smile for special occasions…or my tickle attacks! She’s a bit of a tomboy, friends with mostly boys. Already Yvette’s the object of many boys’ affections – and it’s only 3rd grade! She’s going to grow up to be a heart-breaker, I know it!
The other sets are twins are boys – Willy and John, 5. I swear, these two are so hilarious together they could star in their own T.V. show. Often I have no idea what they are saying to each other since my Swahili just isn’t up to par, but their tone alone cracks me up. Willy will put on a husky, old man voice when he wants to order John around. Johnny, rather like Yvette, usually just raises an eyebrow and glances over in his brother’s direction and shrugs off the comment. Willy, like Yvonne, is a big teddy bear and is always giving hugs to his friends. And just like the rest of their siblings, these boys both have some of the most incredible smiles I’ve ever seen. Getting John to flash a smile is always a fun game I like to play…
John
Willy
Last among the siblings are Blandine, Daphine and Gisele, 17, 16, 15 respectively. I have not gotten the chance to know these girls as intimately as I have their brothers, sisters or parents, but I have had the sporadic holiday breaks that they are home to share time together. Daphine lived on the border of Kenya and Uganda with her father for the past 7 months where she took care of the house. Blandine and Gisele spend most of the year at boarding school a couple of hours away and, from their reports they so happily tore out of their backpacks to show me, seem like wonderful students. Just like many teenage girls, they are very into hair & nail products. I’ve had my share of [attempted] hair braiding and I’ll just say white girls shouldn’t ever have their whole head braided…
With Gisele & Daphine
The heads of this lively, beautiful, happy family are Jacqueline and Augustine (though I would certainly say Jacqueline is the one calling the shots!). The couple is officially married, which might seem like an odd fact to point out, but from what I’ve learned marriages often might not be. The two attend church together every Saturday (they are Jehovah’s Witness) and walk hand in hand, not with the woman trailing a few feet behind as I’ve seen many Ugandan couples do. I think it’s something to point out that every single one of these 10 children are from the same mother and same father – that is definitely something unique, even in America! It’s because of Jacqueline’s sunny outlook and Augustine’s laid back style that this family is so welcoming, kind and smart. Jacqueline has done work with a women’s shelter in Kampala and is also known as The Best Seamstress Ever. Augustine is an engineer, and even Julien wants to take after his father’s trade; Julien, however, wants to design planes so his best friend can fly them – Augustine contracts houses and buildings. When I first met Jacqueline, she knew a decent amount of English but began taking classes about 5 months ago and has improved immensely. She has been working so hard and I’m very proud of her. She’s made me some pretty slammin African wear so watch out for those this summer & beyond…
It’s easy to love the people of this family as individuals, but the way in which they show love to each other makes me love them even more. It’s so easy to see they are happy to be together. The kids respect their parents, but do not fear them. The parents don’t treat the kids like servants, as unfortunately other adults here do. They laugh together; they cry and share burdens together. They really do embody what a family should be. They’ve made me feel more welcome than any other family and helped ease my hard days. They know they can rely on me and I know I can rely on them – that’s what family is for, says Jacqueline, who calls me her “dogther” – she’s even began referring to Julien as “your son”!
Sometimes (or at least for the past 9 months, ahem!) there are certain people you have to share with others in your life and finally I’ve been able to sit down and write just a little bit about my family away from my family. I’ve tried and tried before; I wanted the post to express everything I know and love about these people but I realize that can never be captured with just words. And as I sit here, finally writing this blog, I can share the news that this family is coming to America! Their application was approved. Earlier this month, the family began the medical exams & security clearances. They are flying through the process – orientation is the last step and they begin on June 10. We don’t yet know where they will be resettled but they find out at the end of orientation. If things keep on the same track, according to Homeland Security they could be in the States before school starts in the fall….I nearly fell out of my chair with excitement when Augustine and Jacqueline told me last night. A couple months ago Julien had mentioned something, but I wasn’t sure just how much of it was real…turns out, he’s proven me wrong..once again! A true son indeed..
Although leaving Uganda in 2 [SHORT!] weeks will likely be one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, there’ll be 12 less goodbyes I will be dreading. I feel beyond happy that I’ll be able to see my African family again…
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