Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

One thing I really tried to focus on in coming to Uganda was that change is hard. It's difficult, slow-going and always met with resistance but alone, none are good enough reasons to not even try in the first place. Just how much resistance we'd meet, much less from whom...well I couldn't really prepare myself for that.

I set off last August with some goals of my own in mind for the following 10 months. I knew full well once we settled in and got to know our new community, we'd be adjusting those goals to make them more personal for the people actually intended to benefit in the long term. One such goal, and probably the biggest, was to create some kind of after-school program for the 5 area schools in Ndejje and after we spent some time in the classroom with the kids, it was very apparent the after-school program was much needed. Many kids lack creativity and critical thinking skills, they are never encouraged to explore different situations. Questions are frowned upon. And so we moved forward, cautiously and slowly with our partner school HOPE, dipping our toes in to create such a program where kids would be encouraged to be creative, to use their minds and feel ok to ask questions and not just repeat what their teacher said.

Fresh off the December/January break, we began the new school year with an organized three-day a week program. We'd talked with the Headmistress and the Director of HOPE to explain our plan. At their suggestion, we made information flyers and permission slips for the parents since, in this culture, the children are expected to do housework and chores after school and the parents would certainly wonder where their child was. It also became clear we had quite some work to do in sensitizing the community to the benefits of puzzles & stimulating games, art and free reading ; these weren't just fun activities, the kids will get something out of their time at the after-school program. Something they weren't getting in school...

Naturally, it was well received with the kids; however, slowly but surely the teachers warned their classes against attending. Attendance dropped a little. Next we were told parents were calling the Headmistress to inquire where their child was. Then the Director. (Against our better instincts, we believed these to be true even though we could never get the parent or child names from these calls...) Then we heard the children were being threatened that if they attended the Youth Center after school, they would be beat ("caned", usually 2-3 strikes on the arm or back of leg). We talked with the teachers in question and the Administration, but they sited exams a week & 1/2 away as the reason for their threat. Out of respect, we obliged and shut the Center for the last day of that week. Attendance was already about half what it usually was and while we knew their was most certainly another reason why this was happening, we could not make any progress. Then, last Monday some kids came to our house after school, maybe a dozen or so, all with cane marks on the back of their legs. I was outraged! We had shut our Center and stopped our program so the kids wouldn't get beat and still this was happening?! The HOPE Director and Headmistress agreed it was best to shut our program completely for "at least a week" until things settled. Well, things really weren't about to settle anytime soon... In discussing the future of the program, we were told we weren't respecting the culture, we weren't being appropriate and my personal favorite, we were too young to really know how to do this program. The reason I was here was to do this program and taking a shot at my/our ages was way out of line. I knew I was qualified for this. I knew had been respectful and felt I've followed cultural norms the entire time I was here. If anyone can compare the two cultures and work ethics, it seems a bit needless to say that it could be the person who has lived in both places...Nevertheless, we continued to fight for what we knew what could be a positive program. If only we had been granted some of the understanding we were trying to show. There had certainly been a lot of ups & downs over the past 7 months, the past 3 weeks have been my biggest challenge and unfortunately it's from the very people that are supposed to be working with us. As exhausting as it is and to be honest, as worn out as I am, there was nothing for us to do except fight for our Center, program and ultimately for the kids. We needed clear & immediate action to be taken. Together with SWB-USA, we've created a new set of "by-laws" for the Youth Center and stated a general direction for the program-of which an after-school program is most certainly highlighted. We've more clearly outlined roles and responsibilities. By learning that things needed to be written down in order to be taken seriously, it seems we've actually gotten somewhere and finally this coming Tuesday, we get to re-open our after-school program - free of threats on the kids, complaints by the parents and admin and we hope with the support again of the community.

Nalule, the footballer

Esther Nalule is one of our best girl footballers; she's a very gifted #2. But more importantly, she works hard and is determined. She's earned the trust of her teammates and can rally them, she's a great leader. She knows what is right and is confident enough to fight for that.

A few weeks ago, we did an activity with the kids to get them thinking about their dreams. While many girls chose nursing or teaching; Nalule chose football, here a typically male dominated sport. Ever since she shared her dream with us (not that we couldn't already tell!) she's shown some serious improvement, most impressively with her work off the field. She's expressed interest in joining a competitive team and she wants to go running in the mornings. Here, running-or roadwork as it's lcoally known-is done only if something is wrong or if you are sick (seems ironic right? Welcome to Africa!). At practices, where she used to slack on warm up laps, she's now leading the pack. She's encouraging other girls to keep running, too, and we've seen her pick up teammates after a goal was scored. But when she catches us watching, she'll take off in the other direction, laughing the whole way...

Angel [left], from St Andrews School and
Nalule from HOPE School have become inseparable.

What I most admire about Nalule is that she's reached out to girls from neighboring schools and welcomed them to the program. It's pretty remarkable to see, especially as you can imagine among teenage girls. When we first started working, the girls had this fierce loyalty to their school and the others girls that went there. Those were their friends;, but with the growth over the past 6+ months, it's a lot more friendly and for the girls team, that means a heck of a lot.

If Nalule knew I was writing this about her,
she'd cover this beautiful face and laugh hysterically!

A Second Chance

A couple of months ago I wrote a post about my buds Shandrack and Espware. They are truly special boys and in recent weeks I was given an opportunity to return some of my gratitude and hopefully give them, and their mother, a new start.

Two weeks ago Wednesday, I was walking with the boys after school and something seemed off. They told me it was because they had to go stay at their father's house (they normally stay with their mother close to Kampala, about 4 miles from school). Their mother was planning to leave for a village up north for a while; she needed money. I had known for a while that things were tough, but never exactly how desperate things were. The father lives quite a bit closer to school, but the boys were terrified; their father's wife was horrible to them, she beat the boys and shamed them all throughout the neighborhood so no one would dare help the two of them (unfortunately this seems to be the rep most step mothers around here get). In seeing how sad they were, I knew I had to do something, but I wasn't quite sure what I could or even should do. I didn't know if their mother would even still be in town and I certainly didn't want to overstep boundaries, but the thought of these boys with that other woman broke my heart.

Fortunately, their mother was home when we arrived and in talking with her (through Espware, since my Swahili is not quite up to par!) I learned she, and therefore the boys, were actually being chased out of their house quite literally. She could not pay the rent - which was approximately $20 a month. However, in staying in that house, the boys were still too far away from school and transport was another $30/month. Then add in the cost of food, and this was rapidly becoming a situation far bigger than I imagined and it weighed heavy on my heart. Everything in me wanted to just give her what I could, but in doing so I knew I'd be betraying myself and even her; I would not have felt right about just giving her the money outright without helping her back on her feet and learning how to do so for herself; and thankfully Jacques was right there with me, ready to help when I talked with him the next day. He told me that while many of the kids we work with come from struggling families, this was one such case that was extremely desperate and something real had to be done.

Celebrating the boys move with some ice cream!
Despite his expression, I promise Espware was happy....

Now 2 weeks later, the boys and their mother have moved into a new place in Ndejje-about 10 minutes from where I stay and a short walk to school. As Shandrack exclaimed last week, they live "close to 4 of our friends families-now we can see them all the time!!" I feel better that the boys are safe, with their mother, and close to school; however, I'm really hoping to get their mother back to work so she can earn a living for her family. She has no help from the father and as if the situation isn't tough enough, it's very hard for women to get a decent job here. Jacques did tell me a bit about an association in town which, after paying a fee to join, women are grouped together and are then helped to start a restaurant in town. This group of women is responsible for the day-to-day operations of running the place and at the end of the month, each is paid a salary. A refreshing entrepreneurial spirit, for sure.

My humble plea
Because of donors like YOU supporting this work from the very beginning, I was fortunate to be able to help their mother pay for the first 3 months of rent. However, our work isn't quite yet finished. I would love to be able to help their mother get into the association so she can really create a life for her family. The association fee is about $220 and with that, she can begin earning a permanent living. So I am asking you to consider, if you can, donating in any amount to this family. I can promise you it will go directly to getting this woman back on her feet.

Espware & Shandrack outside their new house!!!!


Make a Donation Here
Under designation, please put my name & "For the boys"


THANK YOU for making this much possible already!

Celebrate the girls & women in your life!

Tomorrow, March 8 is International Women's Day!!
Aside from many events taking place all over the United States, it's now an official holiday in 48 countries worldwide-including countries throughout the Middle East and Asia, and even 6 countries in Africa. And of those 6, I'm proud to say Uganda is one of them. To be honest, I found it a little hard to believe at first, with many of the bizarre things women experience here tugging at my mind, but it's very encouraging to me that this day is celebrated in my current home away from home. In our classes and at the Youth Center this week, we've even planned a whole series of discussions on African women who've struggled to overcome insurmountable odds and have achieved their dreams (on the subject of equality, we did discuss African men last week!).

Since it began, International Women's Day has grown to become a global day of recognition. Year after year, it sees more and more countries join for the cause. New activities and traditions spring up all over the world each year; anything from political rallies and conferences to local women's craft markets, theatric performances and fashion parades. Girls and women are honored and celebrated with small gifts and flowers in some countries, whereas in others it tends to feel more like Mothers Day with more elaborate celebrations.

In recent years the day has made a shift from a somewhat boisterous tone of how much progress can still be made in this arena, to how much positive progress has been made, no doubt worthy of celebration. Though, even if it's easier to see the day as a celebration of women's rights at present, I hope tomorrow can also serve as a continued reminder of our sisters in developing countries where everyday is a struggle for them, just because they are a woman, especially young girls. Young girls in particular, the hope for the current generation, are at risk of falling into the same pattern of the women before them; a cycle which includes child-bearing, cooking and cleaning, and at least in parts of Africa, seems to begin shortly after the girl finishes the equivalent of 8th grade. Granted, more international attention these days is paid to what happens to girls, but what about what we can do to stop that from happening? The Girl Effect has some awesome information on what life is like for young girls in developing countries, especially in poverty stricken areas. It's a great organization and can be a great tool if you want to get involved or even just learn more. Women for Women International is also a great website for learning about women survivors of war and the fight for women's rights worldwide, but the website also lists many events taking place tomorrow. For those of you in NYC, if you can head to the BK Bridge to show your support for women worldwide! If you can't, the US Government has deemed March "Women's History Month".

One of our friends made a comment yesterday (a joke?) that he heard someone say "women only get ONE day a year..." with the underlying subtext that you-know-whos get every other day. Be that as it may, as a woman, I feel inspired by tomorrow's events and the hope they bring; but also in working with young girls, I see the need for even just ONE day. And you know me well enough to know that next I'll be working toward figuring out how to incorporate the other 364 days into this party...

A true story of courage and love

In my time here, I've had the absolute pleasure of getting to know some of the most incredible kids I've ever met, and up to this point I don't feel like I've really shared those amazing personalities and stories with the blogosphere. I have honestly meant to, but really when I sit down to write I am never sure quite what to say. I'm left wordless. Many of their stories are very personal and cannot just be told without having earned their trust and gotten to know how their past has really shaped their future, their personality itself. The family I want to share with you today is one such case.

Abigail (6 yrs), Jeledi (10 yrs), Acheal (11 yrs), Jaelle (13 yrs) and Samuel (20 yrs) are possibly the most inspiring family I have ever met, and to me their story embodies love, courage, selflessness and determination.

They moved to Uganda in 2007 from Burundi due to the vicious conflict between the Tutsi and Hutu populations. Until now, I was not aware the conflict in Rwanda had even crossed borders, but it had and in a very ugly way. Their father was Hutu and mother Tutsi. Their father’s family came and killed their mother in front of them, and Jacques (we work with him at HOPE School) has said the same fate was in store for the kids, had they not fled. The father was in prison in Burundi when these 5 left, but could have since passed away there.

This unspeakable tragedy occurred when Abigail, the youngest, was just 2 years old. Samuel told me there were times when he wasn't sure if she could make it; after their mother's death, she shut down and would hardly speak. She'd constantly wet herself. Samuel has never talked about his emotions relating to this, nor has he said anything about his other three siblings; particularly about Jaelle and Acheal who were at such pivotal years developmentally.

Today, the kids, as I've said countless times before, are extremely intelligent and endlessly funny; Jaelle's a beautiful young girl and has incredible politeness, loyality and thoughtfulness about her. She loves to read and hopes to be a manager of a bank one day. Acheal's a great artist and he loves football, Barca is his team! He is such a leader amongst his peers, and with his thirst for knowledge, I absolutley know he will do incredible things in his life. Jeledi is following very much in his older brother's footsteps but still has quite a silly whackniess about him. He loves football, too, and already has a throng of ladies by his side. And Abigail, certainly the baby of this family, is hilariously cute and giggly. One minute she's just observing her surroundings, the next she's dancing, twirling and spinning out of control, singing to herself.

Last I want to share a bit about Samuel. When his mother has killed, he was just 16. At a time when he could be focusing on continuing school or even just being with his friends, he became the caretaker for his 4 younger siblings. He became a father and a mother all at once; having to provide and feed them, keep them together, love and protect them. He continues to study and learn English, which he can speak very well, and recently landed a new job at a nearby hotel. He's very generous and loves to surprise his brothers and sisters. Like yesterday, when I went over Acheal could barely contain his excitement to show me their latest surprise-new sheets! Jaelle's favorite where the purple flowers and she just couldn't believe I liked the yellow better!! I am truly, absouletly in awe of Samuel - what he has done for these kids, what he has sacrificed and also accomplished for them and himself, truly is the mark of a selfless, amazing person.

It's hard for me to even imagine such an atrocious tragedy as genocide, but to know someone I've come to love and care for, kids so innocent to witness unspeakable actions, it truly breaks my heart. But in spending time with this family, I feel love, hope, kindness and a truly unbreakable bond.


Abigail, the little fairy princess


Jeledi will always take a break for a snap


The one and only, Acheal


Jaelle deep in her book,
always learning as much as she can


Samuel, the most incredible big brother


I am so inspired by this family and feel very fortunate to have gotten to spend time with them. I am eternally grateful to these five for everything they have taught me and will continue to show me through their love and generosity long after I've left Uganda.

Samuel's utter selflessness, Acheal's smile, Jeledi's laugh,
Abigial's free spirit & Jaelle's caring touch will always be on my heart.

Common Threads

For every difference that makes us unique,
there is a common thread which connects us all.
We share the need for home & community, for love & respect.
May these common threads form a beautiful world
in which all people & cultures are honored.

This was from a card I received from home - thank you, Mrs. Jepson! It's a wonderful message, and a great reminder of my purpose in these last 3 months here.

And we're back! So is Museveni...

I'm back in Kampala after nearly 2 weeks of laying low. Things seem to be back to normal today, business as usual and with the presidential elections over Museveni, who won with 68% of the votes, will be starting his 6th term as President of Uganda. Maybe when his term ends in 2016 he will finally be ready to hand over those presidential keys. What's more, apparently Museveni has his sights set on becoming the first president of the East African Community (in 2017), should the position be established that is. Seems this may very well be a wicked case of self preservation, indeed.

The elections themselves though were interesting to witness, despite the fact we couldn't really go far from our home because of the uneasiness surrounding it all. I watched from outside the polling stations where voters sat at picnic-like tables, reading booklets of information after which they went to cast their ballot. Even in our usually sleepy Ndejje, the police, military and election officials were out in full force. Their message was clear: this was going to be a fair election (with a footnote that when Museveni ultimately won, there would be no tolerance for any violence or protests). And until the results were announced 48 hours later, Ndejje was quite the ghost town; it was obvious that their message was received. Rumor has it though, that the opposition is planning to stage a demonstration in the upcoming weeks in protest of........................ ahem. I'm not sure how to finish that sentence...in protest of something. But not to worry, our neighbor is a Major in the military and we haven't heard any such news from him. FYI we have the US Embassy's # on speed dial...Mom.

All day while elections were happening, I was asked "When will you vote?" or "Did you vote already?" In trying time & time again to contain my astonishment at the question and mask my confused, blank stare, I could only respond that it was not possible for me to vote, I was an American, as if I needed to inform them of this news. I found it ironic that every other day we've been here we are the mzungus, far and away the outsiders, yet on election day, we're apparently Ugandan-at least as far as the polls were concerned (I did get one suggestion that I obtain Ugandan citizenship so that I could vote). But in watching this election unfold made me very thankful for the USA's take on democracy and my American citizenship. Say what you will about our system, but after witnessing Uganda's election campaigns, voting process and somewhat lackluster desire for change yet willingness to do nothing for it, I think we've got it pretty good...

Dad, you can hang the buntings when I return in a few months! ;)